I call it The Journey of Motherhood and it begins at puberty and ends…well, it never really ends.
Motherhood happens to every women, whether she bears children or not.
The journey of motherhood includes…
- trying to conceive
- intentional pregnancies
- unplanned pregnancies
- birth control choices
- baby loss
- still birth
- wishing for children and never getting pregnant
- deciding not to have children
Motherhood can tear you apart. I wrote about my own story of getting ripped apart here.
What do I want pastors to know?
That on any given Sunday, there are women in the congregation who are hurting.
The woman who yearns for children but hasn’t conceived after three years and is wondering if God approves of IVF or surrogacy.
The woman who had an abortion and feels like her miscarriages since are punishment.
The woman whose baby was born not breathing, who left the hospital with empty arms and wonders if she even wants to have more children.
The woman who is struggling to support the three kids she has and just found out she’s pregnant again.
The woman who is still bleeding from her miscarriage.
The young woman who just found out she’s pregnant from a one night stand and fears that her family will reject her and her baby.
The woman who is wondering why she doesn’t feel a bond with her newborn.
The list could go on and on.
Fertility, pregnancy and child birth can be icky subjects.
They involve sex, blood and procedures. Women experience guilt, remorse and shame.
These are not seen as “church appropriate” concepts.
Fertility, baby making and pregnancy are incredibly personal yet people want to know how you’re doing and how to pray for you.
Asking someone to pray that the sex you’re having will lead to conception is awkward. You fear the, “So? How’s it going?” question.
It’s why many women wait until the second trimester to tell their pregnancy news. There’s so much that can go wrong and it’s all so miraculous and heart-wrenching.
Women often feel alone and vulnerable and most of them have a hard time confiding in their best friend, let alone a pastor or church leader! I have talked to women in their 60s who say their family still doesn’t know they had a miscarriage or an abortion.
God doesn’t want His daughters to walk their motherhood journey alone.
Pastors need to know that the women in their congregation are hurting and struggling. Even women well past their child bearing years might still feel shame about the abortion they had in their teens. And these women probably see the church as the last place they’d go for help.
I want to change that.
BABIES ARE MIRACLES
God Knits babies. He is intimately involved in the baby-making process. He cares about what His daughters care about. God is pro baby!
I believe the church should be the first place a woman turns to when she’s struggling, especially with something so intimate and so closely tied to our Creator.
So my journey continues as I navigate what to do about this.
I love ministry. I love women. And I intend to find a way to bridge the gap between them when it comes to the journey of motherhood.
Stay tuned, and certainly let me know if you have any feedback or suggestions.